Artificial Coma Comments

The pretty birds you caged we need to let free Before the pretty birds cage in you and me..... The writing specially demonstrates the updated look to reflect into art. Poetry is no different. Beautiful coma artificial by title it may be, but the style of looking and interaction with life and object......quiet living. Thanks to the poet.

nice images selected thanks

Wow, this is deep. Complex Sorrow, desperation Yearning and pleading Before the pretty birds cage in you and me... I haven’t seen you for quite a while... Will you ever break the artificial coma and let the world in? A relationship seemingly intensely close, yet, at the same time the individual feels so distant, like the companion has drifted and faded away, beneath cold, lifeless walls. The unknown trance is haunting.

Writing rhymes is not that tough, I can cook up all that stuff; The hard bit is to make sense as well Not lure the reader into a hell Of puzzling poetic blather.

I feel like the artificial coma is a symbol for the barrier between a person and them knowing you. Maybe romantic, but maybe just an honest desire for human contact. the springs drilling into his lifeless bones. Genius! I really liked this poem. Please read some of mine!

Like this too, it is difficult to sustain original rhymes over four lines. It falls apart a bit in the last stanza.

knowing the plants that we planted need some sunlight, not to get fungus, knowing the caged birds of our countries will cage us without ambush, knowing the difficulty, we too moan and tremble in confusion, we are still in the artificial coma and we have to wake up and smile. Nice to read!

Sun and flower. Lover and beloved. True love. Thanks.

All I want to see you and see you smile. very good love. thanks.

I am awe struck by your reach. Mellifluous and melancholy. Soft and yet so hard hitting. Gentle yet biting sharp. Sunny yet bitterly cold. It is almost certain to me that you have seen, met her, talked to her, not just over a cup of coffee or a couple of beers but you have grown up with her. As a sibling, a neighbours kid, a best friend, an old pal, you have known life and this poem is a testimony to it.

I fully agreed with Saadat and L.P.alexanders. It's really a beautiful poem, probably the best one I have read this morning, constructed so well in a real artful and delicate manner. Well done, Sara...10/10. Best Wishes. Naseer

absoluetly beautiful wonder why there arent more comments its done very very well the content presentationand flow are just superb.... rightly be proud of it well done ten and cheers

oh pretty good too, u r mastering the difficult art of rhyme, good imagery too well done