Sunday, July 30, 2006

Answering Machine Comments

Rating: 5.0

I called again. dont ask why
I wanted to hear 'i was wrong'
I knew you weren't home
Maybe I could talk to your mom
...
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Gabriella Franco
COMMENTS
Paul Hansford 06 December 2008

Ouch, this is a sad one, but not for the obvious reason. It's sad because you want to talk to his mom about nothing much, just to have a contact, and you don't even get that. The poem (as a poem) is nicely crafted - I love the repetition of 'Maybe I could ask her...', and you haven't been a slave to the rhyme. Sad, but nice.

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Amber Green 10 August 2006

Wow, it's really creepy how closly related our poems are. I have never let anyone see the one I call 'A Need to Know' But it was almost exactly like this. I have called my ex's old cell phone knowing no-one will answer because they're working but I just had to hear the fimiliar voice on the answering machine. I understand competely. Wonderful peice.

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Abigail Keller 30 July 2006

I LOVE YOUR WRITING. Augh, yet again your creative genious beats me to such a clever idea for a poem! ;) I hate hearing that motherly: 'oh! I haven't seen you in a while, how ARE you? ' ~Amber~

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