Anguish Poem by Kelly Boutin

I feel a deep desire inside
A need to get away
From a life I have wanted my whole life
A cage I have played to make

I feel haunted in this life
By demons of my mind
I feel a heaviness
That I fear
I can never leave behind

Is it me or is it you
Or something else completely?
That takes everything I truly love
And ruins it so extremely?

I am still a little girl
I feel alone and still not safe
Sleeping on the side of the road
With the goats that were my friends

Please be my friend from Thailand
Who I hung out in the tide pools with
Who I listened to music with that I should but don't regret

Please be my friend from Delaware
That found me when I was walking home
Going to the liquor store
But instead we hung out with your disabled mom
And watched Carnonaro Effect
I still don't regret

Please be my friend from high school
The one I met on the bus
That later gave me a hug
Or Tyler that I used to walk with in gym class cause he had asthma and couldn't run

Please be someone I know about
Someone I can almost trust
Cause I feel so alone and now
I have no one.