Saturday, September 3, 2011

And Then I Glanced Comments

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I walked for minutes
When I parked the car
And then entered the bar
I stayed there in that atmosphere
...
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Double A P SS
COMMENTS
Brian Purdy 26 February 2012

The poem is a fine one. A suggestion for line seven of the 2nd stanza: '...at a moment which was opportune...' This form or another might also be used in stanza 3, where the same word, 'opportune' occurs. Finally, third last line of the poem, '...we fell off the cliff...'. Hope these points are useful. - Bep

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Double A P SS

Double A P SS

Los Angeles, California
Double A P SS
Double A P SS
Los Angeles, California
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