Will you take my blood?
yes! look, i`m here.
say what you need?
i`v left my words to the east reddish sky,
...
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The use of imagery is masterful. I feel the emotion leaking from the words and infecting me with their despair. I would like to read more of your work.
Well, this is quite remarkable. I quite like it, and the imagery is fantastic, particularly toward the end of the composition.
i couldnt understand this fully but with a different theme and word elegy you rockd go on
Interesting take on a common theme. The poem starts slowly and felt a bit disjointed. However it quickly gathers pace for a dramatic ending. Good work!
Really a sprinkling of love to words ok, look the rainbow in sky. i`l take all seven colours, and paint my love. and i`l request the wind to blow soft, so soft to dry my painting, and nourish my love.
I found a melody in this elegy, nothing is certain in this awful journey?
That was an awesome poem....so pensive... the starting was really capturing...and the poem was ended beautifully.. ok, look, i`m driving a blade, a blade on my veins. oh! god, therefrom out comes an elegy, an elegy that`s only created for you. this was really good! the best part
This is quite intense, but would be less jarring if you corrected the 'i'v' to 'i've' and the 'i'l' to 'i'll'. (Unless it is purposeful and I'm missing the purpose, of course.)
Hi Swarnendu, This poem began beautifully with the images of the rainbow and the tree etc., your love seems so deep and peaceful - then with the blade across the veins, it turned violent.... still, all in all, I enjoyed reading this. Do keep writing. And feel free to read any of my entries. Your friend, Ruth Lavelle
Really like this, a fantastic poem, great write.