Am I Not You? Poem by Mulunda Silingi Phelix Nasiombe

Winds are blowing
The heart is aching
My feet are unable to move
Blood is bubbling hot in my chest
Forgive me Lord but I have to take my life
Nothing is adding up
My neighbours are shooting arrows toward me
My mother acts like I am an alien
My father chases me anyhow
I have no space in our family
Everyone says I am cursed
That I am an evil son of the family
Neighbours laugh at me
Look at him, he has no parents
They insult me; look at that dog
Look at that dry cow
He is smelling cow dung
He is smelling the poo!
He is smelling the pee
He is swine without a home
No, he is a pigsty
Does he know what to do with his life
My Lord, my lungs are shrinking
My chest is as hot as pepper
I am smelling my own blood
I have no choice Lord but eliminate myself
Why should I wait to die of their obnoxiousness?
Why should I wait to die of their words?
Why should I give them victory
Like people of then Moscow
I have to burn myself
I can't wait for the Napoleon Army to kill me! .
I can't give them space to celebrate their victory
I am coming my Lord! Just wait for me
My Lord, think of what my girlfriend says
That she can't marry a rejected son
That if my family hates me
Who is she to love me
She has fluttered my Lord
Like a butterfly, she is in the air
Showing her lovely thorax to others
I am doomed my Lord, let me just come
Yes, my Lord, unless you do something
A miracle for me Lord
Will spare my life
A miracle for a minute Lord
I am waiting for that miracle Lord
For a moment let me be patient
I know you can answer me
You can't let me die of shame
My spirit is coming back
Fail me not Lord
Your unfailing love is supreme
My smelling blood is now calm
It is no longer boiling
The heart is relaxed
No haziness! No schizophrenia!
Thank you Lord for your little miracle
At last I can breath
At last their air is cool and enchanting
At last I can hear some chirping
A sign of hope
That sanguine for big things
At last I am a victor.