All Wrinkled And Faded. Comments

Enjoyable Read....warm regards, ....xx

In general, Graham, I think this is a lovely, rhythmic and wistful piece of writing. There are one or two points that I feel could be worked on, though: *Consistency of rhythm. I feel you can achieve full consistency, Graham. I'd certainly like to see line 3 section 4 with greater metrical balance (along with a few others) . *Sequencing. I feel section 3 ought to precede section 2. In the current sequencing, when I reached section 3 I felt as if you were coming back on yourself. *'Purchase a grip'. I feel you can find a more...picturesque expression here. *Correct 'pssing' to 'passing'. I mean these comments with goodwill, Graham. Warmest wishes, Gina.