All I Needed Was A Tight Hug...! Comments

hugs for everyone great writing :)

another hug sent your way - ha ha u'll get claustrophobic! nice writing - keep at it - SG

definately u' recieve a hug frm me...! ! dis poem is full f emotions and precision

i love both of them to me there great sounds like a guy and me if you wana hear the story just ask

greate job, keep writing u so talented man. keep up. i'll keep reading

Both poems are much the same, first one appeals to me more. Soul really cries out in the write. Much emotional and spiritual healing needed. Pray your heart be mended with a great big hug! Well expressed; D

I will give you a hug, your poems make me sad: (

I prefer the first poem, but thats just my opinion. I do that in some of my poem also, that may be why, . I really like the passion with which you write, i can feel the emotion and pain behind this poem. good job! I enjoyed reading this.

Your poems are filled with great deal of passion which makes them worth reading... however the source of this passion in your life must be disturbing to you. If you are sad and unhappy... try to find a reason to that. We all commit mistakes... God knows I have not a bundle but an ocean full of them, but heck, so what? What's life without our set of sorrows; what are we to laugh on if they are not there? I am certain, you will find people who will understand you; have some faith.

After life takes you down, when you stand back up sometimes you need a hug. Hugs make everything better! =) nice poem

no i think the anaphoric one is better..that's my point of view..but i think as a poem writer you have to change 'u' to 'you'...and the 'very very very very' in the last verse can be changed to extremely or something like that because it isn't poetic.I found the poem beautiful and i'll go through the other poems..please read my 'forget me not'. thanks for sharing

I disargree with the other comments. I think the best part of this is the way you used the word after. I think it makes it distinct and original and it should force true poets to think. AFTER all isn't that what poetry is about. Analyze it deeper

That was full of truth, I loved it. Congrats(:

Enjoyed reading it. Though i must confess, the series of 'afters' made me get a little bit dizzy! ! !

nicely written poem. only thing is that i got lost with all the after's. other wise a great poem!

Hugging is very infectious my dear, it may lead to many other related diseases which would become chronic and incurable...........

This is a cute poem, and I give you a hug. From one poem to another, I must say that the usage of texting words such as 'u' slightly ticks me off. Another, expand vocabulary. Other than that, good job; D!

oh wow i like this poem its very nice stay encourage you are good

I love this poem, , very very good. keep up the good work :))

I will start my critic of with a hug from me to you. My honest opinion, I got lost in the first 8 lines. But that is only because of how you worded your lines. Also, as soon as I loaded the page, all I saw was the word 'after' and knew straight away, that this poem would lose the reader's interest with the constant repetition of the same word over, and over again. Usually, I would limit the repetition of one word to at least 3 in a poem of this length. Another point I would like to raise (and I think I have raised this issue before) , try to use a variety of words in your poem and try to keep basic words to a minimum. Examples: 'i did suicide' -> I attempted suicide 'the starting of my life' -> The beginning of my life Another one too, which I picked up after scanning the poem for the third time, is a simple, common grammatical error made by many. It is called PLEONASM, where you use two synonyms when one is suffice ('depressed and sad') . You will definitely have to rewrite that line.