Afternoons Comments

Awesome poem. It caught my attention and made me read again and again. Thanks! best regards, joan d.h.

Your write is truly magnetic in its dwelling philosophy of life and its worth. Thanks for sharing. regards. arya

Stunning Gershon! ! ! It leaves a fragrance behind...

I love the interplay of images (net-fish) and the magic of your words ('night's blue tassels') . Susie.

Line four has a typo...I think. That should be than. I also think some of your tenses are crossed. Example: 'The signals that I send to you are crossed so often when we'd make love in the night...' I re-read Neruda's poem and feel you have captured the flavor without using too much. The blue tassels of night leave a wonderful image. Try to delet as many 'thats' as you can. I feel it takes away from the poetic value. Raynette