After Twenty Years Of My Living (A Small Recapitulation) Poem by Prabir Gayen

After Twenty Years of My Living
(A small recapitulation)

Twenty years have passed,
Twenty winters and twenty springs,
Twenty long summers of pain and
dejection with Forbidding dolour.

Twenty long years have gone
like a nightmare of dismal delusion,
A chain of events occured without my knowledge,
Like a dreamer I dreamt about life and death.

New thought of ultimate goal,
New invention of bright speculation
came to me like a bubble of existence
with new light of spiritual pilgrimage,
Twenty years with light and shade
Sometimes presented, so to speak,
moments of Joy and gratefulness,
Like lightning flashed in my inner self
the serenity of eternal Spring.

As a vagrant soul and a failure,
I roamed with empty hands
Chewing the wounds of bygone pain and passion,
Without compassion to myself,
I remained waiting for the final call,
The call of the ultimate to take my
riven self into Nothingness.

Twenty years have disappeared
Like the moon in the morning,
The great field of living is doomed,
All the dreams of ultimate living,
With time withered like a faded leaves,
All the potential flavours sunk
without folding the wings.

In one tired Noon with
the silence of the Being
In a spell of meditative state,
The calmness and peace of space,
The buzzing of bees and butterflies
with swaying blooms,
With sudden gush of wind my mind is lost
in some unknown rhythm without reason.

The bubbling mind
with inordinate aura of dream
and desire having no space of
thinking gone into the world of
Silly silence,
The world of inactivity and inertia,
Celebration became silent with
chronic state of self-pity.

Twenty years of death and desolation,
Twenty autumns of perennial
Pestilence,
Twenty monsoons of Joyless
Contemplation,
Years after years a vague hope against hope
with the least hope to celebrate life
and it's openness,
Only glum thought of silent departure.

Twenty years have passed with
the aura of bygone warmth,
The pastoral priesthood of natural beauty,
The chirping of local birds and
kindness of village folk,
The beauty of the Sun rise and
The return of cattles after the set of the Sun,
The clamour of village boys in the
green field,
The generous song of the
life of innocent Villein.

The earth is new with new
people and new thoughts,
The advance world with advance knowledge,
Old familiar faces have gone
into the world of oblivion,
Childhood love and the thread of dream
having no lingering link,
The cohesion of natural bond is lost,
The new world is a lifeless season
Without summer and without spring,
Autumn reigns with her azure friend,
winter to make us feel the
transient nature of things.

Twenty years have gone taking with them
the warmth of Life,
Love and beauty from the eyes,
Beauty is lost from the heart of men and women,
Hollow men and hollow lives,
Heart is lost in limited quantities,
Head is prevalent over the stream of consciousness,
the soulful serenity of Human resources,
Man is now a living shadow,
Hoarder and busy with mundane things.

At this age of eyeless pain,
After twenty years of constant
touchiness and frenzy detachment,
Life's Stentorian muse is lost,
Love's eternal Spring and valley of Joy
are strung with the grave of
absolute disappointment,
Now without Joy and sagacity
Of the feeling of oneness,
A desolate self am I to spend
the rest of my life looking at the vastness
of life and renewing the past
as the substratum of living.

@prabir Gayen: 12: 39 AM / 8/4/20/