Acquitting Alice(Any Laugh Is A Good Laugh) Poem by Chris Embrick

Poor Alice lost her shoe and stumbled
Backwards fell with a great plop
All Wonderland felt the rumble
When her rear the entrance stopped
The King's men pushed with all their might
But could not move her rosy cheeks
She plugged the rabbit hole too tight
They feared she could be stuck for weeks
The Queen of Hearts said to behead her
But all Wonderland declined
Some agreed mushrooms must be fed her
To get a grasp on her behind
The Hatter's plan was less than smart
He said poor Alice needed wind
The thrust provided by some tarts
And all could safely breathe again
But in Wonderland too much pretending
In a state of panic some recalled
Rumors of a foul blast sending
Humpty Dumpty off the wall
How the shock wave shook the palace
Left in it's wake two brothers stunned
They said, "we must arrest this Alice"
For accosting Tweedledee and Tweedledum
But came forward the only witness
Known to all, the Cheshire Cat
Claimed bad ale caused the Tweedle's sickness
When a frog fell in the vat
Those testifying seemed dim-witted
Their royal honor to defend
But the jury agreed Alice's rump
should be acquitted
So all went home with much chagrin.

Epilogue:

Through the village the news spread fast
How a brave farmer heard her screams
With horse and rope rescued the lass
The truth left out of Alice's dream.