You can smell it in the air
long before the pavement darkens
with each fat, slow drop.
Electricity sparks upon our flesh
...
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Be still my beating heart! ! ! Just love that time before the rain on the coast
gourmet....that's all I wanted to say but the silly requirement of at least 20 words took the life out of it.... so its gourmet.....
this is where the weather simply mirrors the stormy relationship... beautiful!
You can smell it in the air long before the pavement darkens great lines. this is a piece of true poetry... a true poet... I love it. great job. Becca
A real creative piece of poetry...very well worded....that's all I can say after so many comments especially from Mark Nwagwu, Tony Jolley and Kevin Wells. It's my reading of the day.
incredible write, kept me glued right till end read and re-read this fine piece of creative excellence
Great stuff Viola absolutely stunning my friend big 10 +++++ Chris
I cannot better Tony's comments, nor would I try. When I listen to 'The night before' on the Beatles 'Help' album, It takes me back to eating fish and chips out of newspaper at home when I was ten - but I mean really vividly! All five senses can be a strange trip in a time machine. This captures the mood perfectly of something most of us have felt - that strange sensation before a storm. It is, I think, a sense that goes way back to the cave; primeval superstitions now replaced by none-the-wiser meteorologists. Like fate, we don't know what the storm holds for us but we still know it's coming. In my very humble opinion, Vi, this is one of your best. Kev.
'Fat, slow drops'... 'lush..night'..'electricity'; as Lisa suggests, there is so much here the reader can enjoy this moment both vicariously and viscerally. It is the only poem I have ever read where I am sure I could actually smell the moment and remember your memory myself. Smell doesn't appear much as a sense in poetry, yet it can be so powerful: I have about three smells and a couple of tastes that transport me involuntarily to an exact moment, place, event: almost like a 'where were you when you heard the news that JFK had been shot? ' moment: that definitive. This poem hit me just like that, Viola - staggering! Keep writing! ! Tony
Very well done. Such excellent expression, Viola. You've incredible talent!
Nice work Viola. I expect I am a sort of connoisseur of storms- living in the midwestern U.S.; tornado alley. Your description is so perfect it gives me chills just like a genuine thunderstorm.
One can truly smell it or see it in the air, the begining of most storms pre-empt themselves in various ways, I can visualize a different 'storm' through your words. You have captured this one very nicely.
This pulls/blows the reader into the storm, a really great read Viola 10/10 tom
you are one of my favorites...a beauty in the abstract, this poem exemplifies... a 10
This is not only about rain... and storm......... This is a pciture showing............ What an exellent choise of words to paint the picture so important to YOU. WooooooooooooW