Thursday, January 5, 2006

A Trickle Of Shadows Comments

Rating: 5.0

dreams
and thought came
in a trickle of shadows
melting if I tried to hold them too hard
...
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Eila Mahima Jaipaul
COMMENTS
Peter Lebuhn 11 February 2006

This is one of my favorites but the abscence of I would make it stronger. Make it sound like what is written is happening NOW As you know this is the trick to writing to capture the reader You have captured me with your work I do enjoy it. It is relaxing Namaste Peter

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