Death’s hand rips the numbers we so viciously cling
We stare at the dirt wishing we could sing
All shall some day sing of the sky
...
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Unlike others, I believe it had multiple different meanings and sub-plots, but obviously it was carried by its great rhyming, inside outside, outside going in, and in going out, that just made the poem go. Also the poem itself was just weird, but in a good way, for example the lines, What is time and why? It just seems like this is a person who is losing his faith, in humanity, religion, and any point whatsoever to existence.
I really liked this. It did not need to be any deeper the idea that it carries a simple message to anyone who is awake is what is impotant about it. The problem is WHO IS AWAKE? -10
Like it..but it could have had some more depth. It's very different and so wonderfully written though. Keep it up.
Nice. It has kind of a psychedelic feel to it, but solemnly so. I like it.
Good rhythm and rhyme in this poem. Thanks for sharing.