Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A Story Comments

Rating: 4.9

This is a story of a boy
A small little chap
Born in a village
On India’s map
...
Read full text

Preetam Shetty
COMMENTS
Anita Trivedi 07 June 2010

Beautifuly rhymed........... Sooooo beautifuly written........... Great job done

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majid Alsaady 30 May 2010

Depicting a normal third world offspring in a provoking rhyme is a difficult task yet you worked it out well.thanks for elaborating so simple

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Pradyumna Jyotir 30 May 2010

and on reading this I clap, clap, clap! ! ! ! :)))

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Deepthi Vincent 26 May 2010

Beautiful composition Preetam. liked the flow of verses. simple, yet evoking....

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Himmel Shertzer 26 May 2010

It's very good, I like the originality.

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Hans Vr 26 May 2010

A good story in very smooth verses. The rhymes ending in 'ap' make it a very original poem You got from me a big clap.

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Amrit Rathi 26 May 2010

Poignant story told with utter simplicity and flowing pathos. I liked it very much rated 9/10. Preetam, you are very talented. Thanks for the invite.

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Matt Mooney 25 May 2010

There is a touch of rap about the poem-to use a pun! .The repetition of words ending in -ap in the rhyming scheme turns out to be more effective than I thought. It's a serious poem disguised in simple language.10.

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LCPL Hawk 25 May 2010

its a great poem absolutly love it

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Vaughn Bekker 25 May 2010

nice poem, very good piece of work, well done: 0)

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A lifes story. Truly heart felt. Loved the rhythym, Excellent!

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Andrew Bellon 25 May 2010

Tragic and poignant story told, truly. But prose chopped into dimeters/ trimeters and such and rigidly rhymed is not poetry as heightened language it is a poetry of form. This is fine, but, at least, punctuate such a style carefully. This will be counterpoint to the structural rigidity you impose and contribute a dramatic tension to the read. See Dylan Thomas' 'Poem in October' for this play of rigid stanzaic structure and punctuation. yrs, ab

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Elias Barcelona 25 May 2010

its a very beautiful piece. Very well written

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