A Story Comments

Beautifuly rhymed........... Sooooo beautifuly written........... Great job done

Depicting a normal third world offspring in a provoking rhyme is a difficult task yet you worked it out well.thanks for elaborating so simple

and on reading this I clap, clap, clap! ! ! ! :)))

Beautiful composition Preetam. liked the flow of verses. simple, yet evoking....

It's very good, I like the originality.

A good story in very smooth verses. The rhymes ending in 'ap' make it a very original poem You got from me a big clap.

Poignant story told with utter simplicity and flowing pathos. I liked it very much rated 9/10. Preetam, you are very talented. Thanks for the invite.

There is a touch of rap about the poem-to use a pun! .The repetition of words ending in -ap in the rhyming scheme turns out to be more effective than I thought. It's a serious poem disguised in simple language.10.

its a great poem absolutly love it

nice poem, very good piece of work, well done: 0)

A lifes story. Truly heart felt. Loved the rhythym, Excellent!

Tragic and poignant story told, truly. But prose chopped into dimeters/ trimeters and such and rigidly rhymed is not poetry as heightened language it is a poetry of form. This is fine, but, at least, punctuate such a style carefully. This will be counterpoint to the structural rigidity you impose and contribute a dramatic tension to the read. See Dylan Thomas' 'Poem in October' for this play of rigid stanzaic structure and punctuation. yrs, ab

its a very beautiful piece. Very well written