A Spy's Soliloquy Comments

nice photo and nice birthday gift! “I see you through my serpentine eyes, The walls have ears, And the hills have eyes” the poem gets better after the first three lines [my opinion], which aren’t bad [I mean your lines], but I’d change them some. first off, I’d try to avoid “eyes” at the end of two lines so near to one another. in order to do that I might write a totally different first line. sometimes when I can’t come up with a rhyme which I feel is ‘good enough’ (sounding) or appropriate (for the meaning of my poem) I make a large change in one or two of my lines. second I would try to make it more about “you”, THE SPY. this would be in line with mujch of the rest of the poem. in half of lines you use I or my. SO I might change lines 2 and 3 to: “The walls are my ears, And the hills are my eyes” favorite lines: “What use armies, champions and knights? When the mightiest of kings in his sleep, dies” to MyPoemList. bri :)

I am with Mike here Ayman.. No point crossing your path (or is it a spy of Death? ?) Fantastic poem.. Thanks for sharing.

Really enjoyed this one. Good cadence, good images, and good ending. I'll take good care not to cross you Ayman. If champions knights and kings can't protect themselves from this slippery assassin, I'd had to know my odds as a peasant

Spies, wars, armies, arrows, knives, poisons- all combines to make -A spy's soliloquy ' - a powerful portrayal of intense emotions through the serpentine eyes. Ayman - your are great!

This might be the most powerful piece of yours that have read. Amazing use of language to get a profound idea across. Well done my friend!