A Sonnet For Cliched Lovers Comments

I'm really impressed with this sonnet and the way you skillfully handle both the rhythm and meter. I would beware, however, of archaic language. (reacheth)) It detracts from you sonnet, in my opinion Raynette

This is a great use of the sonnet form. The last line is great. as lovers part when lovers want to cry, /my heart with you I would forever share' is a great turning point in the piece and I can see that you havn't just thrown 14 lines together. My only doubt with this is the fourh line. It seems forced and out of place in this otherwise great use of the sonnet.