A Song Of Defeat Comments

I sit on this pile of wreck Piping my thoughts away In the cusp between victory and defeat.A poem with a piper's melody. Beautiful....10

Lovely write dear madam, I appreciate your way of presentation. Really it is a beautiful poem brilliantly penned and amazingly shared.10

it is difficult to believe one of valsa's poems would crumble, unless she wanted it to crumble! but, it probably HAS HAPPENED! :) bri

My favorite stanza is the first. Favorite lines: “Now that I stay resigned, Amid a heap of debris Is there any use feeling remorse? ” ……..i like the space between 2nd and 3rd lines. Intentional I ………………………..i suppose? Maybe not “harp”, if any instrument actually was played by Nero. There are no photos! But “fiddle” may also mean: [according to a Google article] “touch or fidget with something in a restless or nervous way. Laura fiddled with her cup synonyms: fidget, play, toy, twiddle, fuss, fool about/around; finger, thumb, handle; informal mess around/about he fiddled with a coaster =============================== Valsa, think not of it as a “Defeat”, but as a “Learning Experience”. And anything which causes “nakedness” (especially when it is “stark”) can NOT be ALL bad! Bri :) To MyPoemList and …appropriately, as the poem is dated 2013, slot #13 in Section B of October’s ‘a showcase for PH poets’ on my PH site. :) :)

We think great, we talk great but when the time of action comes we become blocked and silent and end like a bubble.

A song of defeat it may be that speaks reflectively a lot on ups and downs of civilisation and one's disposition but it is loaded with inspiring things that can't weigh down the defeat at all........Valsa.......a great piece

Yes mankind has built many wonders of the world. But they too are made by hands and soon will tumble down. Either by force, war or just plain greed. When we lift ourselves high above others and then exalt in what we have done. Then we are in jeopardy of a great fall. The clay does not ask the potter why have you fashioned me this way? . A thought provoking write Valsa.

The poem is great with its charm though a song of defeat. Even from the very first line it is enchanting, Valsa. I loved this phase of yours for evoking such a beautiful poetry.

Valsa is very matured one work through the heart and a keen observer of nature well done so beautiful VALSA

Beautifully portrayed...Block by block, I piled it one by one and a pleasure dome was ready, but couldn't see its beauty, before that it was tumbled down to sands.. I sat on rumbles swinging between victory and defeat.. Loved reading each lines....feels that in one point of life, we too feels the same..I felt it many times... Loved reading this beautiful poem...

This poem proclaims itself to be a piece that speaks of an invisible remorse which helps the weaving of a song with glow and charm. The sense of defeatism afflicting any of the Valsa poems is quite unforgivable and will amount to ironic somersaulting of your outlook towards life... A fantastic poem indeed.. As for Nero fiddling, it is to be understood that the monarch was not that insensitive to human woes. History has propagated half lies on him and Nero was in fact one of the 13 kings who 'built Rome in more than just one day! '. Anyways a mandatory 10 for you once again.

We have all been there too. Creating poems in our minds before throwing them away. A good poem Valsa

How many words you throw away before you create a poem? How many tests you do before building a stable structure? How many failures before success? We all hear about success stories. Thank you for a sincere attempt to record an attempt through a beautiful poem which provides inspiration in an indirect way. I think Nero's is a different story.

Remorse can spur creativity if we have a profound outlook and sheer enlightenment. a lovely write.

In the cusp between victory and defeat Exacting as much ecstasy as I can great write, Valsa.

I hammered some words and then poet writes ''Like Nero fiddling on his harp When Rome was burning'' love to read ''there any use feeling remorse? ''