A Promised Love Comments
When she will enter my room
Every corner will brighten up with gloom
There will be an icy cold breeze
Sweet sensational feelings of her and mine
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...words emitting intense love here.....fine expression.......10
the rythm builds on a nice outcome at the end, , , liked reading it
nice rythmic poem...like the message at the end...we have indeed all been promised love...we just have to learn to accept it with grace and not fall prey to disillusionment.
'A promised love made by him When he sent me in this hole A true love is on its way To take me away' Nice, nice, nice.10++
Hello poet friend. I did visit and want to encourage you to keep improving and posting, not too bad. Loyd
Aijaz....pls look into the second line, gloom itself means darkness....when she enters she cant brighten up ur room with darkness, make it as 'Every corner will brighten and lose the gloom'. And except for few more grammatical snags ur poem is good.
Pretty good poem, but the first lines is awkward. You don't need an 's' on 'enters.' It should read 'she will enter my room.' The first line of a poem brings the reader in, you obviously want them to continue reading. However, this is not very inviting. The same thing happens towards the end of the poem when you say, 'which will feels like.' It's a problem that can easily be fixed.
a blooming love..thus hope for a true love..great write... Ency Bearis
Well, at last I read it my friend. I just wonder how deep is that 'hole'. The first three lines are set the tones of the proceeding lines.
Anticipation, of something Wonderful True Love, very nice......
This poem brings about many emotions and could go so many directions with its meaning. Excellent work! Best Wishes, Marilyn
I enjoyed it like anything. Nicely composed with good imagery.10+
correction suggested. When she enters ...feelings of hers and mine and will stare at me ...hole, ...bones. which will feel... ...made by her when she sent
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7/31/2025 11:15:03 PM # 1.0.0
A great poem by a great poet