A Poem About Nothing Comments

i like the premise of the poem....a small suggestion if you're open to it...why not use the line 'you took away everything' towards the end, just to shake things up but still saying the same thing...

Hi Ronald, Thanks very much for your comment. Criticism is welcome (especially when it is constructive, like yours!) . I agree with you, the 'except you' line is not great to read, although I think it sounds better out loud. The last two lines could do with a bit of work. What I'm trying to say is, 'You left me', as a strong, independent statement, then say, 'You left me with nothing', as separate statements. But the distinction is not clear. I often make small revisions to my poems after posting them so I may well return to this some day. Cheers, Jack

And, Jack... In that 'nothingness' proclaimed, all of you was 'had'. Given as an experience to explore the 'something' that life with you in it, is. Nice poem. Don't think of the ratings. Feel the freedom of expression. Remain honest with yourself. And that is the gift you have.

Jack, such a heart wrenching poem..... Ruthie

Jack lovely poem..I think we have all been there some time or another...this nothing shouldn't matter...but this nothing ain't an easy thing!

Tragic this nothing. It's so empty. Hopeless. Thanks for sharing. Well-written and from the heart.10+