A Metaphor Comments

I like this Vince. The only problem is that it might have a greater impact if you removed the last two lines and retitled the poem 'The wedding' or something. Metaphor is one of the most impactual things in art; it is central to that engagement between the artist and the audience, you shouldn't be telling the reader they should find that out for themselves. Without the last lines the poem reads great and is imaginative in its impact of dissilution. In that respect it is a really beautiful poem.