A Man Dying Comments
Be not proud.
In a downtown alley way
he stands but just barely and to see his
pale gaunt ashen frame is to ask-
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Having once again read the poem and some of the comments, including mine, from past years, I feel I should again mention your use of 'be not proud' and your acknowledgement that it is in reference to Donne's poem Death Be Not Proud.
Brilliant testment of the current doing of the governments Bravo MJ
he stands but just barely and to see his pale gaunt ashen frame is to ask- will he disappear into the cement sidewalk crack? Can he will he ever make it back? - -A very touching write !
P.S. since submitting part one of my comments below, i checked a large paper dictionary and it does seem to allow, marginally i think, the use of " cement" for a hardened substance, I think making it ok to use in place of MY preferred " concrete" . I just Googled " concrete vs. cement" : " Although the terms cement and concrete often are used interchangeably, cement is actually an ingredient of concrete"
Similar enough, Bri...There is also the metaphorical aspect to being consumed by the concrete, the cement...What swallows us does not have to be a literal. Again, Thanks, Bri.
2 " disappear into the cement sidewalk crack? " Yes! WILL he? ? " fault" like he might disappear into an earthquake fault? the 'be not proud' reference. Does it refer to: " Sonnet X, also known by its opening words as " Death Be Not Proud" , is a fourteen-line poem, or sonnet, by English poet John Donne..." ? ? bri :)
Thank you so much, Bri. Indeed there is a reference to the great John Donne
1 in U.S. we use " alleyway" " cement" (a powder) becomes " concrete" when mixed with water (& maybe gravel) and it dries " ashen" & " pale" are synonyms " net of needles" nice alliteration. i'd guess a net meaning trap, not a safety device! " needles" as in ones used to inject drugs? Cont.
A great observational poem. We do wonder about the people we see. Very well written. Thank you kindly for your comments.
The poet has pictured the misery of another fallen fuy in the society. Well penned. Thanks for sharing. ++++10.
Outside the comfortable confines of our house, we will meet such desolate, shabby homeless people! We should have the heart to see them with empathy, instead of gloating over our own amenities and riches! We could also be one among those deprived, had circumstances been different or the one whom we have seen thus in bad shape must be one of our close relations! Such thoughts will help us from being proud!
When you delve, you go cemetery deep, my friend. And you give no quarter. No one can read this poem and remain untouched. Onto my fav list and a serious number of 10's Should have received poem of the day many times over!
By The Grace of God. Thank you for acknowledging this human being. On some level, he has heard your message and is stronger because of it.
A powerful write. Like all your poetry your words vibrate and reverberate with the rhythm of your rhymes.
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7/26/2025 9:47:13 PM # 1.0.0
......................BUT you do not use 'death be not proud', only 'be not proud'. So, in your poem, what is the purpose of using 'be not proud'. Are you alluding to the falling person or to anyone viewing the scene of falling? ? ? bri : )
Hi Bri, It can be taken in at least 2 ways. It depends. Do you see the first few lines as second or third person rendered? ? Thanks for this second reading.