A Lover's Death Comments

My tear does strike the ground and freeze-What power in this sentence? I like this style of sentenece. Very good, and powerful in this. I like this piece is fully descriptive.

What a pretty piece of art that is holly it can hang proudly on these walls! the pain jumps r rite out and cuts thru.

thanks for the feedback i really apprecite it. and thankyou tai chi for pointing out the typo i'll sort it as soon as possible.

i really love the way you wrote this poem.it say a lot about what went on.kelly

I agree with Kelly Allen Vinal... these are words beyond your years. Keep writing and stay with it. You will see you will only get better and better and that you will go through several style of writing changes. Grow and keep posting so we can share in those words... Rick

A powerful read that defies the young age of this poet!

Very descriptive poem Holly, on the effects on a person, of losing their lover prematurely in death. It happened to me, so I recognise exactly where the poem is going and coming from. All I can say is, it takes time, is a roller coaster and we must ride it, if we are to survive griefs visit in tact. I applaud your honesty. There is a typo on the 3rd line. 'down'. A heartfelt 9 from Tai

I really really like this poem Lylyanna