A Life Cycle Comments

Nicely crafted. I like the format. I like all your metaphors. This one is very striking for me. The mirror once broke, Shall repair a new, But in its reflection, A darker view “There is nothing more painful, /Than forgetting to hope.” This is especially meaningful since you aligned it with eve and dawn.

I have to say this was amazing. Your vocabulary, the emotion, flow, rhyme perfection. The mirror once broke, Shall repair a new, But in its reflection, A darker view. - what awesome lines..A good read in every way

It does mimic the life cycle very well. I suppose you wrote this in a very dark hour, because your other poems are so fair and hopeful. The point of this was, after all, to not forget to hope Delilah

Great poem - well structured.

you were right, i believe that this is my favorite.

Methodic meticulous style of poem writing... message contained with in not missing or spilling out...pain one would feel at different times at different stages in one's life has been painted using wonderful word colors... one ten for this pain cycle...

Commendable work, David...your stanzaec construction moves with almost flawless metre/rhythm and cascades mellifluously throughout. Solid crafting, here. ~ FjR ~ ..2008..

Outstanding! Pain is in everything and everywhere. I love the flow of this poem and the sentiment of it. Great stuff.

f****ing wow, this poem is amazing its like the secret to life its the poem i've been looking for

A very moving write David, it builds up as it goes along, excellent, Lynda xx

For me the second stanza was unbearably moving. The whole text was written with considerable reflection and it has an emotional tinge that srtikes a chord undeniably within the reader. Thanks David for this one.

David, this one reminds me of those children's stories that build on a theme and repeat a motive. I have watched many child watch with eye's round with anticipation as they anticipate the net stanza, . Your poem has something of this feeling of expectation - which is why it works so well. Your build on your theme of loss and each stanza lifts the bar of your imagination. Excellent poem. love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Yes David, I can relate in more ways and reasons than I care to admit. But I can't get rid of the my mother's eyes, because I look exactly like her. When I was very young, people said if we were the same age, we could be twins. My love life is dwindling to an ember, and soon the fire will be dead. You have written a bible of life here, David, and it did trigger a few horrific moments for me, but as you said in your comments to my poem, 'I Feel Like A Failure', never lose hope. I won't, because my goal is so important to me, that I have to push forward with the strength of a pride of lions. Thank you for sharing this with us, and for your comments on mine. Love & hugs, Barbara

This one is going straight into my favorites - penned with such eloquence and insight, you masterfully attach the pain and potency of loving to time's passing light...powerful stuff here David - love it. j xx

This is amazing. The flow, the emotion and clear expression of pain... wow. I wish I could write like this. You are truly creative, and i think this is one of my many favorites of yours.

This is incredibly well told, skillfully written with such a strong emotional chord WOW! Love duncan X

...dawn, noon, day, dusk, eve i was so rapted in deducing of the cycle, that i did not notice at first, that the night is mysteriously missing :) No painful nights? Wonderful conceptiontion and execution. Let me read it again.

Wonderfully captured emotions David, not a word out of place or wasted. I love how you used the different times of the day to represent each painful stage of lost love. Brilliant (this is going in my favs!) HG: -) xx

An insight and knowledge way beyond your years. A thoroughly impressive write. Well done indeed. Ez.

A complete painful cycle of the day is pictured here..in all it’s parts, each being very melancholous but this pain is relieved timely by Hope…, which at times turns out to be more painful. Well penned with true insight