A Letter To My Mother Poem by Miss Grace

I have so many things l want to tell you
after all, l can't shout it at your face like you do
you tell me how much you hate me
now I want to tell you about my feelings for you

I know you are a great lady
superwoman in others' eyes
l am sorry I won't feel the same way
maybe I just haven't realized

but mom, if you hated me that much
why did you have me in first place
making mine and your life both hell
why did you trouble yourself with a nuisance

your words still ring in my head
calling me a failure, saying I won't succeed
after calming down you said sorry
but the bullet through my heart will still bleed

I won't forget how I was the first thing you
threw away as soon as you were in a problem
I will never forget the way i
always come second to you

you were promised a brilliant child
I am sorry I am the one you got
you thought I will take up your legacy
but sorry that im not worth

you forced me to take up music
as it were your dream
till now I feel suffocated
of your aims and ambitions for me

I stopped dreaming Mom
because I couldn't break my hopes
I stopped hoping
so I have no expectations left

even today when I speak
I am still following what you say
I hated your face as you laughed
how you gave me every possible option

Mom if it were my brother
would it still be the same for him
I'm sorry I shouldn't compare
after all, he's a special case

but mom you blamed me for being depressed
is it my fault I felt traumatized
traumatized by your actions and words
is this also my fault

endless tutors, I run to
just to reach home and listen
I didn't do anything fruitful
and my studying isn't useful

I don't get it
what should I do
what should I do mom
cause your words still haunt me

is it my fault for having trust issues
when you didn't listen to me when I pleased with you
what was a normal Tuesday for you
was something that ruined me forever

I can't do this anymore
I'm tired of doing what you want
I am tired of keeping secrets
and killing my happiness with my own hands

Do you know what mom
maybe your money is the only that
has kept us together
and is the reason why I won't run away

I hope you don't find this letter
like you found my diary
that had written words in bold
I HATE YOU, MOM