(*when a young girl ventures out for her
first class in swimming she should briefed
on consequence of body baring as well
as likely presence of paedophiles) .
...
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Wow, , , it's an amazing write and a great poem, , , wonderful emotions so real it's... Top marks! ! !
unpleasant experience; spoils the purity of swimminmg water - that bathes the body, lifts the heart to see the sky.. and maybe even dream. Swimming is more than just moving in water and splashing around, it is an elixir purifying our blocked sensations. The crude coach does not understand this...though
suddenly it seemed water is hot and boiling, quickly they moved to change room, where he bared her nude, it was her curiosity and his anxiety! .. it is transmission pure ly arrival of spring in her body and eqquall response.. lovelytgheme....10 read mine... i miss... miss i miss u
NOTE OF CONCERN: This poem is vilevoguish mindset of swimming teachers…and Sr. Poet Surya Sir explicitly narrated and expressed the agony and insult to femininity…what may stay stored in subconscious …and many give many psychical problems …later on…very much concerning…and poets are looking glass of society and reflect the blacks and whites as they’re …here ably done by poet.. In this poem often unnoticed area poet has reflected…be safe the parents and learners…, my humble concern echo with the poet Ms. Nivedita UK
Ghastly! ! Grisly! ! ! Gruesome! ! ! ! Macabre? ? ? ? WHY WHY WHY? ? 10+++ Ms. Nivedita UK
If you're going to swim - swim. If you'r going to shop - then shop. If you're going to work - work. Don't lose your focus in life because bad things can happen. Good moral.
powerful and in the beginning you don't really suspect then ending until the second stanza, great write!
I was drawn into the poem and the seduction of a beautiful young girl. This is what dreams are made of. What makes this poem good is that it highlights an abuse of power: The coach that takes advantage of their students. This poem appeals to the most basic instinct of being male and shows just how easy it is to slip into bad ways. Excellent poem.10/10.
a lesson in swimming? did I miss something? ;) hope she learned something though...whether bad or good....
Happens all the time.................. Good try.........
The first stanza was well done although the second stanza lacked the subtlety that could have made tis poem great instead of merely quite good.
what a guts.....its suspense to some and surprise to other....its a bird flying knowing that it has feathers, as the fish looks so fantastic.... wow! both has experience in different way yet! unbelievable to say....as it grow tells, us the truth that life is an awesome to see beautiful poem with a point to tell...Thank you my friend..... God bless a 10 +++
I've rated it 9 for the beautiful 1st stanza. The 2nd stanza however falls short of the mark, its unsubtle and the word Anxiety doesn't convey what you probably wanted to convey.
Your poem is a bit of a puzzle but here are my comment: 'A lesson in Swimming' seems to be a lesson of a young girl coming of age in the water of innocence- instead of curiosity- with a swimming teacher who knows the lesson well.This is the lesson I got from your poem. Moves from the hot waters to another room?
A good one in its content and in style, well.... a bit prosaic.
a gud one well try buddy.....bt somthing is missing.....i m also confused wat is missing.....bt overall......gud wrk
wow much pedophile