Friday, December 9, 2005
A Fleeting Flame Comments
Rating: ★3.5
With a flash of light you are gone
A puff of smoke and I'm alone
Embers of love burn in your heart
But this Hart is through
...
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Sean Hart
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7/25/2025 1:13:18 PM # 1.0.0
Sean, a clever use of your name in the middle. You've kept the language simple too which is good and helps to get the point across. I get the impression though you've not been too certain whether to go for rhyme or rythym and have, instead, tried to fudge both. Read your poems aloud once you write them. It might give you an extra insight.