A Dying Life Comments

Fed on the remnants of hope seems to be endemic today, I know the feeling well. You have written another masterpiece Nosheen, it's so very touching to so many.

Bravo Nosheen it left me speechless

This is really brilliant......thanks for sharing.....

On the slender rope of breaths.... scintillating expression

You have painted illness as it really looks. We all fear not dearh this feeling and fear.

I read Siddharth Montik's comments too. It pains that he is no more.

After many days, maybe years, I read my Malayalam translation of the poem too. But the original great poetry.

Just made a revisit. This wonderful poem captivates the heart. After many days, maybe yeRs

Hi Nosheen and everyone else,

A poignant poem.... scintillating expression! I profusely admire this creditable poem!

a well-organized description of illness

Hi Nosheen, Breathtaking expressions. Images, words, phrases create a very sublime melancholy mood, they conjure up an unreal but palpable eerie silence in the mind... I wish to read it again. So onto my poem list.

In the bed of illness at the door of death dimming light of heart a glare on burning pupils. Nice composition mam. I enjoyed. A full 10+++for the poem. I invite you to my poem The Wonder Bird.

Nosheen, this is brilliant! Your heart-rending poem has perfectly captured the illness stage of life. You show great compassion and empathy. In a very mature style of writing. For the poem can be interpreted both literally and figuratively. The person can be physically ill and struggling. Or the person may be emotionally drained and finding life's challenges a little too demanding. Either way, your poem is very profound. Congratulations on an excellent write.

Wonderful expression of Terminal stage..! Though may not have been at that yet, you so poignantly expressed that state of mind A Dying Life! Very much appreciated! 10++! ! Loved many stanzas too especially On the remnants Of hope, Coming close Tiptoeing On the slender rope Of breaths, Between The blankness Of A blurred consciousness. So wonderful lines! ! - Siddartha Montik

You have a nice sense of rhyme and meter. This reminds me of Eliot. The retards in your phrases lend themselves to the illness experience. Again a nice use of rhyme. I enjoyed this, though I hope the illness experience from which this poem might have sprung, is long gone.

would it be appropriate (if prose at least) to place a comma after Between and in a few other places in the poem? commas and other punctuation marks, when missing, cause me to sometimes miss the point(s) of a poem. you HAVE captured a dying life in words. may i opt out of life for eternity? perish the thought! that would be worse than dying this seco......................... bri :)

yes, extraordinary. the composition itself is like breathing with pauses.

Your wonderful imagination and the way you get into the mind of the one about whom you write....... this is powerful dear poetess. really marvelous........ Aching bones, waiting for the footsteps, being fed, blankets....... thank you dear poetess. tony

Aching bones On a well-stuffed Mattress, warm From long hours Of sleep MAGNIFICENT INK