Mehta Hasmukh Amathaal

Mehta Hasmukh Amathaal

Vadali, Dist: - sabarkantha, Gujarat, India
Tuesday, March 23, 2010

A Dead End Comments

Rating: 4.8

Though I have reached to the dead end
Still I wish my feelings to be known and be sent
It may, otherwise, remain as closely guarded
No one may come to know how much I have succeeded
...
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Mehta Hasmukh Amathaal
COMMENTS
warner treuter 26 April 2010

Lots of good ideas and great ending. Poem is important enough that misspellings should be attended to.

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D H 06 April 2010

Man so much wisdom in this poem I wonder what to do when I reach a dead end. HOW DO I CARRY MY LOAD IF IT IS TOO HEAVY. heh I don't know, An Awesome poem, thanks for sharing

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Adnan Khalifeh 04 April 2010

Nothing goes as usual in real life with smooth passage We definitely try to live with honesty and clear message Something prevents us from following the correct way We tend to bypass the long way and don’t want to be whisked away We try to wash away our hand by merely apolising in the prayer We feel that God is great and may forgive us from this thin layer We excuse by saying “to err is human” and knell down We forget to remember that plant may grow only when seed is grown ............... This is a wise philosophic point of view. I like it. Adnan,

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Lacey Jackson 31 March 2010

beautiful poem..i wish i could do what you do with words

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Gita Ashok 30 March 2010

The poem conveys a lot of important and relevant message to people in all stages and walks of life. Lines that impressed me the most are: To swim across the rough sea and weather is not an easy task Sky may seem wide open and horizons so vast Still we try to achieve it by any means or putting on mask We may feel very safe even though it would have daunting task I enjoyed reading it a lot and began self-introspection. Please continue scattering your invaluable words of wisdom all over. I'll read all your other poems, too.

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Rajkumar Mukherjee 27 March 2010

Dear Hasmukhlalji, Thanks for your invite to read and rate your poem 'dead end' We are perhaps sailing in the same boat and as such our feelings match This is the time to introspect through our life's journey and share the profound knowledge with the younger generation. Your poem is a journeyin the same direction. The rhyming pattern of the poem is fine maintaining AA/BB pattern but no of lines you have exceeded the meter length. You can easily correct those by using a few imageriesor metaphors I find the meter counts of stanza 2 as most appropriate for this type of poem. A few friendly suggestion- 1) S1 L2- a typo 'know' should bre 'known' 2) S1 L 4 can be changed to 'no one may learn how much I succeded' This wil also create an inter-rhyming with third line. 3) S 2 L 3 'AT' can be deleted as superflous. LIKED THE POEM. RATED HIGH Rajkumar

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Nivedita Bagchi SPC UK 27 March 2010

‘…Nothing can offer them any peace except self introspection…’ ‘Tis the aperture to view this poem….Thanks Sir.. Ms. Nivedita UK PS 10++

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Gul naz 26 March 2010

your words are like pearls of life

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Mehta Hasmukh Amathaal

Mehta Hasmukh Amathaal

Vadali, Dist: - sabarkantha, Gujarat, India
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