Tuesday, May 6, 2008

A Conference Room And Two Blondes. Comments

Rating: 4.2

Death to the tailor who made this suit.

I think to myself,
while nervously shuffling plain white index cards.
...
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David DeSantis
COMMENTS
Original Unknown Girl 02 July 2008

David, I HAD to come back to this one, it is my most FAVOURITE of yours! Just fantastic! The irony at the end blows you away but the whole piece could be a sketch in a comic show.... almost reminds me of 'The Office'! Love it, a blinder! HG: -) xx

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Dude you have given expression to the situations that transpire and precipitate in perspiration! ! ! (its OTD if unintelligible)

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Flora Gillingham 10 May 2008

Absolutely love this! Never trust a man with Powerpoint! BTW what was the joke? Fx

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Alison Cassidy 09 May 2008

Love the irony in this light-hearted piece of self-deprecation. And the way you've constructed the poem - leaving space for the reader to make his/her own choices. The use of the 'blond' as a sort of poetic refrain works a treat. Clever versification. love, Allie ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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Chuck Audette 08 May 2008

haha! fun one! I don't know that blonde joke, though -please share! -chuck

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Janice Windle 08 May 2008

Love it David! You confirm what I've always suspected was going on! hahaha!

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Philip Housiaux 08 May 2008

Light fun piece that told a very interesting story. good work

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Sulaiman Mohd Yusof 07 May 2008

what a marvellous interpretation of casual joke. keep going pal

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Coach Roth 07 May 2008

Great story telling...pick through the details and bam! ! ! Good write...Coach

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Onelia Avelar 07 May 2008

'You are now a corporate pig.' Hehehe :)))) Thumbs up! You are always observing -with a clinical, exacthe eye - the rooms, under the skirts, beyond the visible things, under the surface... I like this - i never know what follows. Very well and nice presentation by the way - always a joke - at the beginning and at the end.

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Jurietta Duraan 07 May 2008

I LOVE the way you slamdunk your poems at the end... this cute, entertaining story, keeping the reader captivated, and then, instead of a three-some, you get the best three lines of the poem at the end! ! ! ! Great!

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Michael Campbell 07 May 2008

this is a fun retelling of a stressing time. a virgin sow offered up, but you did well. haha. this poem is funny and honest. i enjoyed it a lot. excellent narration.

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Liz Thaugally 07 May 2008

hahhahaha....loved this! reminds me of my first presentation, (minus the two blondes!) I was right there with you in that poem. Well done!

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R H 07 May 2008

Fantastic! From the attention grabbing opening line you take the reader right there into the room with you, the nerves are palpable, great atmosphere created here and the weaving of the two blondes into both the presentation and the audience is skilfully done. You've incorporated great imagery: 'like a line backer in undersized tights' energy, personality, observation, introspection, humour, great control of pace, and grounded it all with the final punchy line. imho this is a dfpow! j xx

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~ Jon London ~ 06 May 2008

Nice write my friend..see, what were all those nerves about? ...you got there in the end my man..nicely composed I enjoyed reading..10 from me sir. Congratulations: You are now a corporate pig. jon.

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But that guy is a Roman Emperor like! Here we aren't in a conference room but in the very middle of the Forum. At present as well as that time, luckily, there are blondes. How they've to feel alone!

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Maryah Delong 06 May 2008

This is hilarious! ! ! haha wow. talk about talent!

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Original Unknown Girl 06 May 2008

Ha ha ha.... that last line is classic! ! ! You must get your EBITDA worked out so your DSO is accurate and then we can analyse our COGS! ! ! (Or something! !) HG: -) xx

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David DeSantis

David DeSantis

Utica, NY
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