A Cinderella Man Comments

Hey hey. I can feel what u r trying to say with this poem but theres just not enough flow. Like words that rhyme etc. Also, try and and focus on your vocab. Where you put the words eg. 'There wasn’t light all now is dark', try, ' There wasn't light now everything is dark'. Just remember, example this sentence, u already said there wasnt light(now u repeating) now all is dark. So just read alot! The best advice i was ever given. Preferably english books if you wanna write in english. Keep it up. Thanx for the mail. xxx