A C T C - 2014/08 Entries - Poem Hunter Poems Comments

A late news flash! Monk E. Biz has informed me that he is really not happy enough to be gay, and that Brianna Edwards is not really a woman just a cross-dresser! Don't know how I could have missed that but I assure the PH ethics committee that it was an honest mistake! So that means that Mandolyn should have been the winner for those who really care. Hopefully someone does! So sorry though, Mandolyn, to have to let you know that you are in fact Monk E. Biz's 'crazy chick! ' Oh the tragedy of it all! Better luck next time Dear Poet with both the voters and the Judge. Ha! Until our ratings go up a little though I don't think that there is much chance of either. So sorry too Brianna that you are not a REAL winner! Heh! Heh! Heh! (Diabolical laugh!) I was secretly hoping that something like this would happen!

Diane votes Mandolyn Abekah votes Brian Darlene votes Brie Sunprincess votes for everyone. Mandolyn votes no Kanav Justa votes for everyone Bri Edwards votes no Brian Johnston votes for Diane Valsa votes for everyone Monk E. Biz votes crazy chick (which can only mean Brie Edwards) ! ! ! Official Ruling! ! ! Mandolyn 1 Brian 1 Diane 1 Bri 2 Darlene ½ + ½ = 1 It is my duty to announce that, as unbelievable as it seems (blame woman's suffrage and aging hippies) the winner of August's Challenge Title Contest ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]Bri Edwards[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ Congratulations Bri! Your Garden of Weeding twist was in fact very creative however much it pains me to say it! Well Done!

Well I cast my vote for Diane Hine, whose incredible imagination conjured so many reasons why turtles cross the road that it made me cross-eyed. Well done dear poet and thanks for allowing me as the Phantom to add some extra flavor to your already delicious poem. The miserly hearts of Bri Edwards and Mandolyn in their absurd denial of turtles crossing the road, should be grounds surely for them to be banned from Poemhunter altogether. The next thing you know it will turn out that these two both harbor doubts in their heart of hearts that God is even real. What’s next Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, is nothing sacred anymore? To punish these two evil doers I award 1/2 of each of their votes to Darlene Walsh, who at least had enough turtle empathy to mourn the difficult lives of turtles!

Hahah... brianaa edwardsss.... what a cool name: D My vote for.. Briana Mandodarlenedie edwards..: p

I vote for the crazy chick. You now have to figure out who that is.

I read all these poems..... all are remarkable in one way or other! The Contest Master's comments are equally hilarious and thoughtful! A wonderful attempt and I applaud Brian and Bri.... Also Diane, Darlene and Mandolyn! Darlene's poem follows more of a conventional pattern and sweet to be read, Diane's as usual loaded with meanings and the high brow type! Mandolyn's is like taking turtle soup! Bri has come with his pet occupation of eating and here its grave consequences! Bri has deviated away from the topic with his scanning of a faded memory of how his father instructed the children to handle the turtles..... Ofcourse these observations are made for fun and please take them in the sportive spirit!

..........thanks everyone....I truly enjoyed reading these....it's a five way tie......I vote for every single poem :)

Thanks Brian for hosting the monthly Challenge. All the poems are so good, it was very difficult to pick one as the best in my opinion, which is frequently confusing to even me. Mandolyn lol Very entertaining. More like a story than a poem. It wandered around a bit, the way my mind often does. I've never had pineapple rice, but it sounds delicious. And the few times I actually watched a turtle, it did 'go stop go stop' except when they're in water, they do swim pretty fast. But I haven't seen any roads in the water yet. And I always move them off the road so they don't 'get run over by a car.' Bri First, if they had eaten all the apples instead of pears, would the world be a very different place today? And it's true, while I've seen many turtles in the road, I've never actually really seen one cross the road. Especially since when I do see one in the road, I carry it back to the side where I think it belongs, usually the lake side. I wonder who Slim Jim is? He is slim, maybe like a snake? 'GOD WILL DAMN THEE TURTLE. FROM GARDEN I DO HURTLE! ' God speaking in the first person, big ego? And mean, hurtling a defenseless turtle. And they should fear Rod, I've seen a few squished on Rod. I also am guessing that you are implying, by the lines Around Garden went 'rod', placed there by their god. that when a turtle is trying to cross the road (Rod) it is to get back to the Garden? And nice rhyming also. Diane Hine and 'The Phantom of the Opera (Phantom? ?) I would love to see a turtle on a Harley :) I had to google Schrödinger's cat, found a nice article on Wikipedia. I sure hope the cat is still alive when the box opens, but until then it could be either dead or alive as far as we know in our universe. Not sure I understand all the quantum physics involved. When we open the cat's box, which side of the road will the turtle be on? And I now plan to read some poems by Kerouac, it's a shame he died so young. There is a nice collection of 24 of his poems on PH :) The last stanza was very funny :) So, after all that, I'm still unsure if the turtle crossed the road, or even if there ever was a road to cross? I'll have to watch more carefully with my 'Hubbard' telescope next time. I like poems that entertain, and also teach something new :) Brian A nice story :) I would probably have liked your dad, and would have liked to see your 'turtle farm', I've never heard of anyone with a turtle farm before. I've also helped a few turtles out of the road. And never got turtle pee on me, that wet stuff was definitely pond water, not pee. Unfortunately for the turtle, I haven't always found them before the car. It's all Rod's fault. My vote: Ok, I've read a lot about turtles and roads, and Rods and toads, and still have no idea why they cross the road. I will have to agree with Bri. They don't cross the road (unless they are looking for the Garden aka paradise?) , so Bri gets my vote this month.

Wow...I am extremely excited. It is such a pleasure to see a bunch of experienced hunters devouring poetry titles as tricky but funny as this. I think if the contest master selected the topic alone, then he must have fallen in love with turtles some time ago(just a joke) ..I am really impressed by this contest and will definitely enter into it in the future. Well done the pioneers of this brilliant contest! Now let me shorten my words and start with this open ballot(no intimidation or victimization please) , I have read all the poems and I am very happy, you have all done well for your effort.....but the rule allows me to vote for one poem(I wish I could over throw the constitution and vote for all of you.) Anyway, my vote is hereby given to Mr. Brian Johnston, the contest master! Reason: not because he is old so he has won my sympathy....but rather I found clarity in his choice of words. Also, as to why the turtles cross the road, I personally could not find any answer in all the poems but in his only and that lures me to give my vote to him. Well done Contest master! Well done all of you!

BJ, i think it's me neither (see note left after my entry/offering) . so far i'm very impressed with mandolyn and darlene AND BJ's cute comments. (and me of course) brian, you ARE in good form tonight! i skip six packs and go for a keg, not! SO, was the joint* poem written while under the influence of cannabis? ? by the way aka btw, what IS with the asterisk? ? ? that is the *. AND in the note to this poem BJ aka the Contest Master uses (this time) to instead of too. are we having fun yet? the only thing worse than an English Major found to be...vapid is a vapid English Major from Oklahoma who's been found rabid. ah, finally, in his last poet's note....on the last AND 'least' poem entry....... the Master has gotten to and too where they belong. hurray! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! congratulations to all of the entries, even BJ's, on fine efforts to overthrow the till-now-champion-of-the-CHALLENGE. oh, wait! now i remember; it was a three way tie last month. do we really believe that! ? :) i'll vote later, if i don't forget. i already won a 60' yacht today. :) bri