(420) Watering The Flowers Comments

I was enchanted. She wore the sun as gloves and she basked in the beauty of the day? Really? And with a touch of trans-natural romance. Thanks for sharing.

Change #4: The definition of breeze is a slight wind, so I would change the phrase a slight wind to a gentle breeze, or perhaps a gentle summer's breeze. All in all, I really enjoyed this poem! Keep writing!

Change #3: A sense of tranquility came over me. While I do like this line, I believe the poem would be better if you were not to use the word tranquility, and simply, maybe with the addition of a few lines, maybe not, let the poem's language show the feeling, rather than just saying it.

Change #2: Instead of... ever so gently touched..., I would suggest simplifying it and making it tickled. While the mist from the garden hose tickled / my legs... If you wanted, I'm sure you could incorporate an inner rhyme with the words tickle (from the mist) and trickle (from the hose running) .

Change #1: The line... hold their tiny heads to the sky... is the first line that could use some pruning, so to speak. Some flowers have larger heads than others. Snap-dragons, for instance, do have tiny heads, but one would not consider a marigold as possessing a tiny head. Instead of the word tiny, I would suggest in its place something like pretty or delicate.

I really enjoyed this poem, but there are some slight changes that I might suggest. (And these are just my opinions.) I will, owing to the character count restriction, be making multiple comments with my critiques.

420 watering, hmmm, you should trim those buds before they go to flower you were a molotov cocktail!

A sense of tranquility came over me as I stood there basking in the beauty of the day. A slight wind touched the back of my neck and I was sure I heard a whisper say, I love you. ahhhhhhhh that is nice A WHISPER OF GOD: : very very nice my dear divine poetess. tony

third try to send a comment and the machine snatches it away I shall have my say, blue li.e it, and come back

Relaxingly Beautiful I could feel myself standing there as I read your poem

I'm sure there was a whisper. a stalking ex-boyfriend? a bird? a flower? the garden hose? God? a soothing poem meant especially for lovers of flower gardens and warm sunny mornings. The early morning dew caressed petals of garden flowers, allowing them to hold their tiny heads toward the sky............... i'm not sure if that is the “job” of dew, but i like this stanza especially. this shall squeeze nicely into Section A (for poems 'not much more than 12 lines’) of the November a showcase for PH poets on my site, in my poem list at or about # 49. thanks. bri :)

An elegantly crafted work, this isn't so much a poem as more a painting of language in great brush strokes. Ive growing some flowers (tiger lilies and marigolds with my tomato's) but they have never come alive like this, you can really see your muse coming out of this, a passionate work, with a beautiful final line. Awsome

Superb, very lovely poem my dear Melvina.10+

Awesome write! Thank you for sharing and God bless you!

Beautifully written, I found it memorable thanks for sharing it.

What a beautiful poem, Mel, so sweet and comforting. Loved it!

beautiful mix of flowers sunshine and water in a bowl of originality makes a wow of a poem with romance closing the poem...very nice...regards

A slight wind touched the back of my neck and I was sure I heard a whisper say, I love you. I was amazed with the beauty of these lines......................10

Beautiful sensitive write. Once when I was watering some plants I felt whisper of other plants, wouldn't you water me. Thanks for sharing.

I wore the sun as a glove...this image combined with the soft -spoken beauty that follows is all one needs to be in the garden. Superb way of letting the reader read a poem, instead of making them read it. You can't help but continue, line after line. A poem to take lessons from! I will! Great is too hard a word for this work...magnificence in simple print. xxElysabeth