Wednesday, May 7, 2014

141. Truth's Battle Comments

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In the last days the end of times
under a dying sun and decaying moon
doped up on a cocktail of lies and falsehoods
and believing themselves invincible
...
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Jaden Knight
COMMENTS
Bri Edwards 06 June 2014

nice write. my favorite stanza is: Like the leaves off the trees in autumn the soldiers of the deceivers fall to against their foes cut down by gleaming swords and axes shattered by heavy maces and war hammers every strike seems to fell a man carving and smashing through steel and flesh the grassy plains become swamped with rivers of black blood this should be in 3-D when it gets to the movie theatres/theaters! at first i thought you might have meant to write: .....leaves OF the trees..., but then i decided....leaves OFF the trees... works better, when joined with fall in the next line. yeah, i always shine up my sword and ax before entering the field of battle. i like the way they gleam before they begin doing their jobs and start to get encrusted with blood and other gore. thanks for sharing. bri :)

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Bri Edwards 06 June 2014

nice write. my favorite stanza is: Like the leaves off the trees in autumn the soldiers of the deceivers fall to against their foes cut down by gleaming swords and axes shattered by heavy maces and war hammers every strike seems to fell a man carving and smashing through steel and flesh the grassy plains become swamped with rivers of black blood this should be in 3-D when it gets to the movie theatres/theaters! at first i thought you might have meant to write: .....leaves OF the trees..., but then i decided....leaves OFF the trees... works better, when joined with fall in the next line. yeah, i always shine up my sword and ax before entering the field of battle. i like the way they gleam before they begin doing their jobs and start to get encrusted with blood and other gore. thanks for sharing. bri :)

0 0 Reply
Bri Edwards 06 June 2014

nice write. my favorite stanza is: Like the leaves off the trees in autumn the soldiers of the deceivers fall to against their foes cut down by gleaming swords and axes shattered by heavy maces and war hammers every strike seems to fell a man carving and smashing through steel and flesh the grassy plains become swamped with rivers of black blood this should be in 3-D when it gets to the movie theatres/theaters! at first i thought you might have meant to write: .....leaves OF the trees..., but then i decided....leaves OFF the trees... works better, when joined with fall in the next line. yeah, i always shine up my sword and ax before entering the field of battle. i like the way they gleam before they begin doing their jobs and start to get encrusted with blood and other gore. thanks for sharing. bri :)

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Shian Daley 07 May 2014

Wow this poem is filled with emotions and thoughts well written and very strong Well done

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Jaden Knight

Jaden Knight

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