We were a living fire
and when we were close
we were so bright
for all the world to see
...
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i know there is something brilliant [no pun intended; well, maybe a little bit] in your two references to burning bright. but i got lost at the fifth line of the fourth stanza. maybe you want WE barely breathed.... this i would understand. they were too much unto themselves as a couple that they neglected other aspects of their lives, and did not give enough space between themselves to continue. they were too intense and burned out. my favorite lines: hoping the flames would never die praying the warmth would never fade wanting the feeling to last forever dreading the cold of finish ................i'm not as romantic/idealistic as that, but i suppose some are, until the flames cool. these next lines seem too pessimistic for me, but it is rather poetic i guess. Eventually the fire had to die it cannot be immortal even the hottest ones will fail leaving only ash....................... as your poem i think suggested, maybe the hottest ones have more of a chance of dying out...............i wonder if this is at all autobiographical, or just well-imagined. thanks for sharing, but, as i DON'T prefer love poems, i like The Snake better. bri :)
ok john, i got your message, and, yes, there apparently was a slip-up when the poem was first transferred to PH. it is better now; quite good in fact. thanks for making the changes. bri ;)