0004 Chloe's Stories Comments

Wonderful, Lori. Your work flows like music, like water over slick stones. And I prefer 'unlike me'. Again that word, but it just...flows. Poetry is not expected to abide so strictly by rules of grammar. Better that it should sing, Don

Lori...again, I'm taken with the natural flow of your words, which never seem stained. They are filled with confidence. When I first read this and thought about it, the first thing that suggested itself was changing 'brother' to 'mother, ' but I can't say yet whether one works better than the other. 'Mother, ' draws the narrator into the last line, but maybe that's too much. 'Brother' is cute, while 'mother' carries a heavier load. Just a thought. Take care, John

I love this..... gonna read some more! Roger.