0) The Spiritual Quest & The Interviewer (Epistle & Poetry) Poem by Otradom Pelogo

The Spiritual Quest

What I'm trying to do is brood, write, and try to do what most people do, come up with one of many attempts at trying to find out their ultimate, or if there is such a thing, their predestined goal. The last five years has made me aware there may be such a quest, whether we search for it, or choose one of our own. The last year to this very day has almost made me believe that my ultimate or spiritual quest is trying to take into the future; giving me many incentives to go forward, but not revealing why until I continue forward; rather than the one which like most others, sit down and pragmatically choose.

In 1998 you have to be somewhat careful how you explain things when they don't follow a predictable course. Ordained destiny is no longer a politically correct phase in a world of science and technology. Although theology has and will always be a major part of our lives, it also has a place of its' own, which without perspective is considered more of an extreme point of view rather than a wise and prudent one.

The desire as a child to dream, as a adolescent to travel and as an adult to find myself in many diverse situations has led me to believe that my life, spirit, soul, and also in a pragmatic sense, my mind has been prepared for this quest, the modern terminology to seek out life. Whether it's a quest for God, or even one to seek out God, is one of many questions that I must ask myself. Or do I make it all-inclusive and say life, yet causing it to become even vaguer. Those two points caused me about a year or two ago to begin to create a vehicle at that time to pursue this quest; while having considered what others might have thought as I traveled, or rather pursued goals and dreams. To pick up one day and travel was only a fantasy that without the proper resources seemed like a nightmare. But I have begun this quest and found both. The only glorious aspects of it, I'm sad to say, is found only in retrospection, and at the prudence of my pen, for sometimes those things which I even truly desire to see and do can become somewhat of a task due to a hungry stomach, a road that's a mile too long, a night too cold or a walk that lasted an hour or two too long. But I constantly remind myself, and 90% of the times it works, that I must try and enjoy and appreciate the things while they are there; basically, instead of being just an observer, to try and enjoy some part of life while I'm here.

That simple fact helps out a great deal and keeps things going well until I can write everything down and put it into perspective, for things have a way when they're not recorded, to move around and even replace some things, even bad for good, which seems impossible. I suggest that anyone who takes on a quest similar to this do the same. Also it's one of the things that separates a prudent venture from an irrational one; to perpetually keep it in perspective; to write it in a positive manner; and I found out on the long days when I read and go over my notes, that reading something good about what recently happened, makes a big difference. It can be spiritually uplifting, and even be the only symbol of progress at such a complex time.

Writing, and the fact that before I left, I had accomplished some things with it; poetry, journals, and stories, makes it easier to take on such a complex venture; one that heavily borders the spiritual quest in a technological world. Although without the spiritual quest, there would be no world; for all things are based on our beliefs, morals, dogmas and basic respect, which I believe is a spiritual quest. And there are those who pursue it as a career, but without the most appropriate route taken to it, it can become somewhat complicated to explain to yourself and others. Writing allows me to constantly answer those questions that may arise from others and myself. You can talk very little while out here, think twenty-four hours a day, but without keeping everything nice and neat, you can easily lose you direction. I constantly go over the things I worked on before I left: Otradom PeloGo and Message to the Constituents, which I considered was my message to help others make it if they needed advice. Therefore I'm glad I took the approach that I did, to keep it positive, virtuous, uplifting and ecumenical, for there are days when you need to hear only those things to keep progressing.

Along with this enlightenment of where my route is headed, comes the part of the self that says the first chance I get, I should stop; I should try and secure a place to stay, a job and all the other resources that keeps a person in one place, stable and on a most predictable course. It's a valid conflict, therefore one without stress, but one with a loop, a perpetual loop that can only be broken by a major decision. But because both are logical, a conviction to one or the other is the only resolution.

In my case, if there were signs, they led to the quest; to travel: (Otradom PeloGo) . A quest that I have now noticed, accepted, and now only requires me to pursue. There are many options that I have now, and I'm sure I will have in the future, therefore I take for granted, that it must be a quest that is truly thought about and truly accepted, which adds the logic and pragmatism to it, which the world requires. But as I found out with this most complex situation, there must be an acceptance of the situation to keep at peace, but yet because it's an unfortunate situation, a sense of urgency that requires the self not to be totally overwhelmed. Whereas with this most complex situation, that sense of urgency should force you to, as soon as possible, to do something to progress. That spiritual quest, the quest of observance, its urgency can only cause you to stay aware, to try and not become overwhelmed by the many situations that will arise and one that requires you to continually push. I guess a main question that arises, is how long does it last; a year, two or ten. Some have traveled even longer on this road, some less, but the quest goes on forever. Therefore the quest seems to reinforce those things that we believe in, to find those things which we are in search of, but which without a doubt are already out there. To interpret the answers in a way that can be easily understood in today's language, but in a way that's accepted by all peoples of the world. Because those things should already exist, it's almost a quest that's set by the spirit and like 'a calling by God', put upon someone to reassure that it's still true. But the trials and adversities and extreme circumstances can also cause anyone to reach and pray for those things that they know exist, therefore, miraculously creating an original sense of the search, and an extraordinary feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment when found.

Having assured myself over the last two years that most
things in the world were working okay, this drastic move caused me not to forget it, but not expect it, and when I did see and find it, like someone who never knew it existed, I was overwhelmed by its presence; the feeling of love coming from the people, and an extraordinary sense that we are our brother's keepers; or as a guy in Grant, New Mexico said, no one is going to let you starve or die out there.

I went a couple of days without eating, but throughout the hunger, that feeling that somehow things would work out, remained. If the feeling of hopelessness did come, it was brief and balked away by the generosity of others, from the mats in the shelters, money given by strangers, like the first day when I started out, I was given a ride for about five miles or so and a pair of gloves that I kept for about a month or two. The next ride took me one or two hundred miles closer to my first stop and forty dollars that lasted just as long as the gloves, since it took me some time to find work; a nice smile or hello; a unique understanding by family and friends. It seems incredible that with all of this, there could be any doubt, but the majority of the times, that spiritual eye, view or perspective stay dormant until a crisis arises, and takes some time to activate once it does arise.

As I was walking downtown on Market St. in San Francisco, I stopped to look at the birds as they flew in the circle pattern. Usually there are many messages I get, but that day it seemed like the one I was looking for. I tried to see why and what they were doing; but I saw a group of birds flying together, trying to keep up with one another, trying to stay with one another. It didn't seem like there was an exact flight pattern they were supposed to follow, just a basic one which they all knew. And if they all tried their best to follow it, it formed a beautiful pattern, one that seemed simply incredible and complex, whether we see it once in a life time or a hundred times a day. And I found that pattern is almost, if not exactly the one which we create in the same exact manner.

The Interviewer

The Interviewer has come
And there is no time to prepare
There was none yesterday
And tomorrow we don't even dare
Mother, sister, father brother
They can't help you
I can't help you
Until you go
There is no other
Just listen to the question
Yet pay no attention
Because there is no wrong or right
Answer,
I just thought I should mention
You'll be forewarned
And told what to know
You will answer each and every question
Just before the end of his every show
The will be asked
They will be answered
In both rhyme and rhythm
So listen to the old
Listen to the new
Listen to Marley's 'isi schism'
He'll blow a trumpet
So don't even worry
You'll hear his sound, he loves
To brag and boast
Be very careful
Because she may be your friend
A stranger or she may be the one
You love the most
Parent, child, teacher or deacon
Some quick advice, let love be your beacon
She'll ask you anything, about life, love
She'll cause you to think about everything
Lust, death, or do you believe in above
Many have taken her advice before
She loves to set people free
Many have taken her advice before
But, she won't promise to let them be
You don't need much money
Fame, or glory for her just to step in
Because the things that attract it the most
Are sometimes the wages of sin
They'll tell you what to say and do
But don't say what they tell you
Or do what they say
The answers and choices are left to you
For the decisions you make
Are what you must pay