Nur Meiyati Poems

I was only fifteen when I had a boyfriend for the first time
He was three years older than me
I was not the only one at may age, in fact, who had a boyfriend
Although we knew well that there should never be such a relationship
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Maybe you're curious
If I have no religions
So who is my Lord?
Because in your mind one can only be good and have morality
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I wanted to see your house so I told you
I wanted to know any parts of your house where you stayed in
When we arrived there the house was empty
You had 'evacuated' all the house staff
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I never become a man
You never become a woman
I never become you
You never become me
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You said you loved me and understood me
More than I understood myself
But you had put me in a situation
That I had to beg you
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I had a bad habit
I could fall to sleep anywhere
As long as there was a space to lay my head on
It could be at the table while I was writing or computing
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Who am I?
“I” is my name.
My name is my identity.
An identity distinguishes one individual from other people.
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You want me to believe in you
But you do not do anything
To cast my doubt off my mind
Doesn't it mean
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Don't worry
I told myself as if I was talking to you
I will not leak our secret relationship
Your position is safe
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How difficult the choice was
I would not stand seeing my mom sad
To know that I would become a mother
Without being able to mention the father
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