Lisa AT

As I walk through the dancing leaves on the cold deserted street
I feel the crunches under my feet
In a flash my childhood springs to mind
I look ahead, to the side and behind
...

I miss you
Every single day
You consume my every waking thought and my dreams
What can I say?
...

The pain cuts deep, deeper than a knife
My mind has been muddled for so long I don't know what's real
I lost my way and I'm forced to fake a smile through the strife
I'm ashamed of my life because its empty
...

There are days when living feels like a weight,
A burden to bear, a constant, crushing fate.
The thoughts in my head, a relentless, nagging guest,
A feeling of devastation, that never finds rest.
...

2 years have almost gone by filled with sorrow and pain
Never accepting the fact I won't see you again
I no longer have you in this human life
But I hope you're still there
...

My world was shattered, torn apart
All thats left is a broken heart
Nobody seems to understand my pain
This isn't living, it's a constant strain
...

Saying goodbye to the past
The ghosts that haunt me night and day
It's taken a decade to get here
But I'm finally ready to blow the cobwebs away
...

We tell ourselves we still have time,
But do we, really? Only moments align.
Time slips away, like sand in the air,
Soft, silent, unstoppable, without a care.
...

Sleeping beside you, my favourite soul
Is heaven on earth, making my heart whole
Not because of the bed or the blanket so fine
But because of the love, that's forever intertwined
...

Christmas carols, Christmas trees
Tis the season, Christmas sneeze
Head is heavy, the cold is biting
Must finish the shopping, its getting exciting
...

I sit here and wonder
Is it ever to be?
Will I get to display
The mother in me?
...

At first the thoughts are normal
Thinking about tomorrow
But soon they escalate to fear
Until I am drowning in my sorrow
...

Poked and prodded, endless tests
I beg... Please no more, let me rest
Disease has ravished my body, giving me only one choice
I see the consultants mouth moving, but can no longer hear his voice
...

I never thought of death, too busy living my life
But facing it head-on, cuts like a knife
I'm just a daughter, sister, or wife
A statistic, a number, a fleeting life
...

My precious girl...

There's something missing in my home
I feel it day and night
...

From deep I dig with no power to change what is...
From within I search for answers that are not there...
To heal what is undeniably broken...
To accept the fate
...

Does it come from within, or,
Is there a higher power that gifts it to you?
Is it faith? Hope? Believing?
Will I ever know?
...

What's that banging on the door?
Why am I lying on the floor?
Paramedics thumping hard shouting my name, but I can't move and I'm covered in bloodstains.
How long had I lain here, nothing is making sense? Why can't I feel my legs and why am I in a pool of vomit?
...

He was like background music in her head
Always there, never fading
Reminding her of the life she should have led
Being with her love and never trading
...

To hold you even if it was just a little while
Made my heart sing and smile
We walked down memory lane where it all began
We talked and held hands under the morning sun
...