Greg, I appreciate what you're trying to do (stripped-down philosophy) but your diction is just too mundane to make the poems interesting. Read someone like Rae Armantrout or Robert Creeley or W.C. Williams to see how this kind of poem is done well. Also, if you're going to use eccentric punctuation, be consistent....
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Greg, I appreciate what you're trying to do (stripped-down philosophy) but your diction is just too mundane to make the poems interesting. Read someone like Rae Armantrout or Robert Creeley or W.C. Williams to see how this kind of poem is done well. Also, if you're going to use eccentric punctuation, be consistent....