Activities of gauri vyas

Kuch to hai jo khatak raha hai
Dil thoda sa behak raha hai.
Kya pata, kya cheez
Kaha lekar jaa rahi hai
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you dream of winning that award
Right there, you dream it all
In your head, your standing there
On a stool
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the story of moth/butterfly-
a very moving incident happened, didn't know that I'd move me this much, I'm okay now. At that moment I wasn't. Okay, so here we go.

There's a idea in my mind. Somebody told me that whenever i see a butterfly 🦋
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mein baithi hoon
haath mein kitaab leke
mann mein kuch baat leke
mere saamne badal hai
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i think I got an anxiety attack on the vaccine day. I remember feeling so good on that day, I was happy to get my vaccine, I was happy that im gonna get to take the scenic route, i was happy i will go on a little drive, the coffee was good, i liked what i wore. i don't know what went wrong. by the end of the day, during night shoot, i was sobbing under a sheet just missing my family at first. it was so
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everyone thinks of someone we shouldn't think of. ceux qui revent, mai
swing, thank you-why? I've many reasons but I can't name them
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i feel so lost, i feel so ashamed to open this locked folder, i feel so many things at the same time, i feel like im lying to myself all the time, i feel like im pretending, I feel like I'm so heartbroken, I feel like I'm a coward, I feel like I'm in love, I feel like I hate love, I feel so embarrassed, I feel like the worlds gonna collapse, I feel like I'm gonna get it together somehow, I feel pain, I feel sad, I feel trapped, I feel like it's not gonna pass.

I want to feel loved, I want to feel free, I want to feel present, I want to watch a film without any distractions in my mind, I want to stop my toxic patterns, I want to stop thinking about her or anyone, I want to come back to me, I want to love myself, I want to hug someone and not stop until I feel okay, I want to listen to music without imagining scenarios, I want to tell the people who are close to me my little secret, I want to hope, I want to feel that it's going to be okay, I want someone to acknowledge me and say that it's fine, it's just life, you can't control you love, I want someone to genuinely mean what they say
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even if you don't the answer
I think it's cool you're asking the question
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i just realised how this app has my journey of sort of trying to know myself. i read these lines and thi k oh god I've really sabotaged myself. I mean when it all started I was barely 19. How am I supposed to know it all? and on top of that be ashamed of it

Today while looking back, ik I've grown so much, I've. I am trying to come out of this fear. I'm trying to be vulnerable, I'm trying to overcome the fear that someone won't love me for who I am. I'm scared of telling to the closest of the people because I don't know I don't want them to see my differently. I wanna be just as the same as I was before.
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hi.
it's my 20th birthday. omg. I really didn't think I'd survive tus through. but really I have been in denial for as long as I can remember. I have denied that I might've actually liked the girl bestfriend in a different way when I was child. god, I've never said this out loud. but, honestly it never bothered me like ever. it was just a thing that we had, we kissed once. actually way more than once, passionately. I must've been around 14. didn't know what i was doing. all i know was i didn't stop at once, so maybe i liked it? then she left, shifted to another city. i in these past 2.5 years have felt like the scene of Timotheé chalamet where his lover left in the car, and he couldn't stop crying. his mother was comforting him but he just couldn't bear the thought of someone so special leaving. the only difference is i had noone to hold me and tell me it's gonna be okay.

I never thought about my sexuality, my beliefs, nor this thing I had once done. Until, I started going out after school. in college, people would have crushes, girls would take about guys. I never did that, nor did my sister..
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