Hi dear Frank,
I try to frankly comment on your work.
You know how to use words and you understand the music of sounds. By means of alliteration and the repetition of sounds you create a poetic space for the poem. For example ' To run my fingers in your hair, on your soft skin', ' My Love, in your sleep you are bafflingly beautiful' and 'the lily of the valley'. Your language performance is acceptable and it shows that you think about your words and choose them carefully. This poem is full of images and you tried to create the situations to visualize the contexts. It is a good love letter but to be a good poem, more artistic devices are in need.
Dear friend your poem should be a product of your time and your geographical context. But believe me this poem doesn't have anything with our time. Now we have the literature behind us and we can enjoy the experience of the past poets. According to one of the Iranian contemporary poet- Sohrab Sepehri- ''You should look from a different angle.' A poem is the masterpiece of language so try to write a masterpiece not a sentimental combination of ideas. I recommend you to read as much as possible and to think and reflect upon the poems read to improve the quality of your poems. Creativity is important in writing poems and try to tell what others didn't tell and to see what others overlook and to shock your readers at the end of your poems. You can accomplish all of them if you read successful poems, ask comments and accept and follow what is logical.
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Hi dear Frank, I try to frankly comment on your work. You know how to use words and you understand the music of sounds. By means of alliteration and the repetition of sounds you create a poetic space for the poem. For example ' To run my fingers in your hair, on your soft skin', ' My Love, in your sleep you are bafflingly beautiful' and 'the lily of the valley'. Your language performance is acceptable and it shows that you think about your words and choose them carefully. This poem is full of images and you tried to create the situations to visualize the contexts. It is a good love letter but to be a good poem, more artistic devices are in need. Dear friend your poem should be a product of your time and your geographical context. But believe me this poem doesn't have anything with our time. Now we have the literature behind us and we can enjoy the experience of the past poets. According to one of the Iranian contemporary poet- Sohrab Sepehri- ''You should look from a different angle.' A poem is the masterpiece of language so try to write a masterpiece not a sentimental combination of ideas. I recommend you to read as much as possible and to think and reflect upon the poems read to improve the quality of your poems. Creativity is important in writing poems and try to tell what others didn't tell and to see what others overlook and to shock your readers at the end of your poems. You can accomplish all of them if you read successful poems, ask comments and accept and follow what is logical.