Bri Edwards Food Poems

I don't dine in five-star restaurants; no frills I need while eating;
I've no desire for a waitress to help me with my.......seating.
But, in seeking new poem titles, it may seem I search the dregs*;
today I found 'Paper Frills Decorative Holders for Turkey Legs'.
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One lonely, dark, and rainy night,
I picked my way out for a bite.
A bite to eat, I mean to say,
‘cause I was single for a many a day …
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I just grabbed a long-handled spoon.....
to scoop little pickles from a jar.
While looking at them swimming in jar's brine,
I had a thought I thought was bizarre.
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I had a peanut butter sandwich today
which made me think of all the way....
sssss my life has been touched by that
stick-to-your-mouth sludge of peanut fat.
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My mother probably taught me to share.....MY food with those I love,
but I've found that I just get too busy to do ALL THAT.....
.......when, into MY mouth, MY food I shove(L) .
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Imagine a church where just insects go to praise God. A Praying Mantis, a large predatory insect, makes her first (and probably last) visit to this 'insect church'. …….

Ms. Mantis takes a seat upon a high-backed bench.
Close to her are butterflies, beetles, flies, and BUGS.
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Yes, eating 'cat' can be 'yucky',
but I reserve 'yucky' for eating ducky.
For Peking ducky, freshly-decapitated,
many wait in line, mouths well-salivated,
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I made a Friend, a Skinny Cannibal.
Now I KNOW why Teachers called me a Dunce.

I went for a Meal at my New Friend's Home.
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I once had a gal from Hungary,
but she always made me hungry.
So I ate all of her, ...including ALL of her fat,
and then, in my dining room, alone [AGAIN] I sat!
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Let me drink cow's milk with hormones*;
It may make me, Bri, more virile.
Feed me only GMO** food;
I'll become a Super Hero!
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Pizza thick-crust, pizza thin;
give me pizza; pile it ALL in.
Pizza with red tomato sauce,
OR pesto pizza; which is boss?
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Eyewear tech with my glasses did toil,
and now Toyota tech is changing car's oil.
While waiting this warm day in Redwood City,
I've eaten a large ice cream cone. Just one. A pity!
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My wife’s cooking is spontaneous,
using no paper recipes, extraneous.
Her “recipes” come from her cook’s mind,
using what, in the kitchen, she does find.
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I was shopping at the grocery store when in walked a hippopotamus.
It was my first time seeing a ‘hippo' there, and management made such a fuss!
They checked first to see if it'd tracked in river mud ….or something WORSE.
AND they watched to see if Miss Hippo would put a watermelon in her purse.
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Carmi suggested this poem paying homage to a bird,
but first I had to consult a book to get a definition of that word.
'Homage' definition #2 is 'special honor or respect....publicly' shown.
Is the special honor therefore having ones flesh cut off ones bones?
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more luck some of us could use right now.
for instance i'd like to find (in backyard) a cow...
which i could then milk each morningtide.....
to have milk for cereal with o.j. on the side!
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I’ve just had old yogurt on oatmeal with strawberry jam.
It’s better than corn flakes and marmalade with old stinky ham.
I say OLD yogurt because it was the last of last batch.....
which, at home, with yogurt-starter and fresh milk we hatch.
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After tears and things depressing,
give me turkey, peas, and lots of dressing.
Pile high the cornbread with lots of butter,
till my belly's full and my heart does flutter.
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Milk. It’s the first food that many babies taste.
I hate to see milk (or other food) go to waste.
Even if it starts to go sour, for goodness sakes,
one may still use sour milk.... to make pancakes.
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So, I've now taken the 'deep breathe' [sic] this site commands,
before I construct this poem, as my inner muse demands.
I've now checked the definition of the above noun 'muse'.
I mean 'poet'. This is NOT one of Bri's tricks, aka a 'ruse'.
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Cold turkey is the correct way to do it;
just never buy more, and never chew it.
Whether beef, or mutton, horse, or pig,
eat no more meat, but rather leaf or twig.
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On last Christmas Eve, to a home with NO cat,
came an unwelcome visitor ……, a rat.
Jake was the wood rat's name.
From nearby woods he came.
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The sparrows line up for their TAKE-off
on twigs strong enough not to BREAK off.
The time is drawing NEAR....
for event of the YEAR.....,
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My partner uses excessive wrapping to close food bags with a rubber band.
When I go to open up a bag so-closed-up, the effort's almost more than I can stand.
AND she accuses ME of screwing on too-tightly, every stubborn food jar lid,
but (sometimes) she accuses me wrongly. Other times I admit I DID.
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This time of year lots of people talk.... of going on a diet.
But I'd be surprised if even ten percent of them ever try it.
Sure holiday food can cause some fat surprises,
but that's why clothing stores sell bigger sizes.
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I 'stepped out' of the box today,
and to my absolute surprise,
there was a guy looking at me...
with hunger....in his mean eyes.
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Though my “love” says it’s a bad place to wait,
here I am with two milks. Only milk, no plate.

She doesn’t mean it’s a dangerous place; that she doesn’t mean.
The staff is courteous, the milk is good, and the place is surely clean.
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