Blessing Kalamatila

I think of purpose as a guide and laws only you have to abide by,
the results are but a product of your determination and confidence- the bye-product of when you decide not to seek affirmation from others or lie low in their sentiments.

I think of purpose as a map;
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If she was a colour, she would be blue,
broken on the inside with no desire to start anew, she was the bearer of bad news and started to believe her existence was defined by unaldeterated sorrow with no hope for a superordinate tomorrow.

With her pride stolen at a tender age, she was the composer of her life story so she had no one to help her start up a new page, her heart full of enmity and no room for love as she believed it was all a myth, left with no one to fight this cruel world with.
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Tell me!
How do you live with yourselves?
How do you not think of the families that suffer the pain and loss of their beloved?
Like what do you Gain?
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I possess the eyes that only see the night at its peak, the darkness conceals my ability to see, yet my mind envisions a future with a less fraction of bleak.

Day by day, am in an effort to relent my fears with a faint hope of seeing the light of dawn, but end up repainting the misery of the pitch black i always see, which is evident that my fight is in void and my toil is just a mere call for tears.
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Intro-"With the power vested in me, I pronounce you Man and wife, you may know kiss the bride"

Fully convinced at the utterance of those words, He knew she was the one fate chose to see them part only by their last breath.
Together; they would fly like birds, both swore to fight for eachother's Love; posessing fidelity as their sword.
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Many-a- time we have been told the baby crawls before she walks, struggles before he talks, taking a step at a time is not a parrallel choice to attaining success.
Rushing equals to crushing they say, which is not as much different as building castles in thin air because in the end both lead to nowhere.

See! no one seems to understand that from the onset, in between lays a processone has to digest the facts.
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The truth in His word is evident
the proof lays in what this pen Indites
am only Here to resurrect what was left of it
See!
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Sometimes I sit still,
constantly in battle with my thoughts trying to fathom how you burry your guilt and wake up to face your wives with no shame,
I mean if this is a game
then am not so sure of whose at the losing end,
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When a man loves
not only does He know It but shows it
not only will He hear when you speak
but Listen to each and everyone
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What has become of us?
for It feels like apart of us is Dead.
Our Holy selves remain burried 6 feet under these fictive versions of us and we encircle the caskets with beautiful wreaths but our genuine selves are left alone to rot beneath its nowonder we reek of jealousy.
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I dont know who needs to answer this but why?
why does this keep happening to me?
I mean, Hope whispers and tells me the best is yet to come but how is it that no matter how hard I try and become better,
I always end up with the worst outcome.
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Are we lost or is the compass broken? when our faith is tested, identity is rejected like half-digested food so what the mouth forces out nowadays is filth and is still accepted by the youth, this is the story of my life I wonder if we are headed in one direction.

Are we lost or is the compass broken? my mind cant fathom why we keep the tokens in our pockets and dont appriciate our worth.
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I always wondered how my existence could benefit others,

If God created me to represent the light then why do I seem opaque?
If I was chosen for a purpose then why did I choose ambition,
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I watched her fall, like the Niagra falls.
Yes!
I watched her fall hard,
only to hit rock bottom
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He left Her with nothing but a broken compass;
lost in Her thoughts
Left Her with resplendent memories that could fill up a room
I swear,
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The night reaches its peak
the crescent moon at its best sheen
the sky births darkness so
the sun is nowhere to be seen
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Lets just say I fell Hard;
would you blame the clown in me
with fractured bones?
or say I mistook Her for a gem;
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My eyes aimed at the night sky;
but no stars shooting
"not today", I mumble;
cuz all my wishes seem trapped
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As a child,
I grew up wondering;
how a slingshot could have killed a Heavyweight,
I was stunned at how the waters parted just to make a way,
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